Thursday, April 16, 2009

Brazilian princess finds her Irish prince

Rita Keane was christened Rita de Cassia Valeris Vicomedes. She is a tall, buxom, smiling woman ready to take on the world. When she talks, she effervesces. We met at a social gathering, and a few days later she arrived with her younger sister to talk to me. Her sister has very little English, and is here to learn the language. We settled down with coffee in the Nasc centre in Cork, where a room was provided for us to talk undisturbed.

I was born in Belo Horizonte, the capital of Minas Gerais province in Brazil. I have eight siblings, four sisters and four brothers.

My father was a lorry driver. He died 15 years ago, when I was 25. My mother was a housewife. She died when she was 42, of a heart attack. All the members of my family die from heart attacks. My youngest sister, when my mother died, was six months. I was still a teenager, and suddenly the kids were all my responsibility. My little sister was two years old, another brother four years, another one seven, another 12, another 14. It was very sad, but thank Jesus, I had good support from my neighbours.

In Brazil there are 200 million people. Actually 12 million people are unemployed. The government is corrupt. If you work for two years, and you lose your job, you will be supported by social welfare for six months. After, you will have no support from the government. There are various religions. Christian, Muslim, half and half.

I found life very hard. I was walking along the street one day, and I was crying. I met this woman, and she said, ‘I know someone who can help you.’ She introduced me to the church. Then I converted to Jesus. I used to pray, ‘God help me, because I don’t know what way to take.’ The people helped me a lot.

I had a job, and I went to school at night. I would get up at 5.30, make coffee for my siblings, who went to school then. I worked in the school. I was studying to be a teacher. At 5.30 as soon as my school was finished, I raced back home to make food to feed my brothers and sisters. When my sister got older, she helped me as well.

Then I left that job, because I had my diploma. I had a problem, because I discovered I had no patience for teaching! I had lots of children at home. I had lots of difficulties in my head. So now I needed to find another job. I was afraid someone would try to separate us, because my mother, when she was dying, said, ‘never separate, even if you have problems.’ I promised. My family is very close. My aunt wanted to take one of my sisters. She was a forceful lady. She wanted to make her work for her. I said, ‘No, I have made a pledge to my mother.’

So I used to go to the church to pray, pray, pray for help. I met a woman there who said, ‘my family has a small shop. If you want I can get a job for you there.‘ God had a plan for me. I started working at that shop. I spoke to my boss about my life. They helped me. Five years later, I became a manager in that shop. I worked hard. The shop sold sports equipment. I know everything about sports. But I hate sports! Everybody became my friend, my clients as well. Financially, it was good, because I could take care of my siblings very well.

But then the rent on our home became very expensive. I couldn’t pay. I prayed to God, and my boss helped me as well. I managed to buy two apartments. I got a loan from the bank, and I paid for fifteen years. I was 30 then. Five years later, I bought my second apartment. I left it with my family.

Now I can say thanks to God, because my family grew up very fast. My brother became a manager in a bank; another sister is a teacher. My family likes to study! One sister got a diploma for journalism last year. I have another sister here in Ireland. She is an executive secretary.

When I lost my father, my life became harder. A friend of my sister’s moved to Ireland, and invited her over for a holiday. My sister came, because every Brazilian dreams of coming to Europe! My sister came, enjoyed, enjoyed, said, I don’t want to go back to my country! She wrote me a letter, ‘sorry, I can’t go back!’ I was very sad, because Brazilian families are very close. She couldn’t speak English. We just speak Portuguese. But she got support from African people here. She found a job in a plastics factory in Blackpool, in Cork. Then somebody put a fire in that factory. That factory closed down. Then the police looked for her, asked her about her job. The Gardaí looked for her because she was illegal.

Thank God the African people gave support to her. They introduced her to my boss – he’s my boss as well, now - and he gave her a job. Irish people are very good. She started as a secretary. But after that she did such a good job, her boss was very pleased, and he liked her. He made her the first executive secretary in Ireland. He has his own company, Sean Mulvihill & Co. He gave support to many illegal refugees. When she told him her problem, he went to Immigration and said, ‘now this woman works for me.’ Now she’s been here for five years, she has got citizenship. Two and a half years after she got here, she wrote to me and said, ‘would you like to come for a holiday?’

I came here for a three month holiday. I resigned from my job, after working there for 20 years. I came here. I couldn’t speak English. Then one week before I was due to go back home, I went to a shop, I saw beautiful clothes. I thought, ‘oh very cheap.’ I was in Enable – a charity shop. I put on a beautiful coat, where I found €1 in the pocket. They gave me the €1. They said it would give me luck. I put that €1 with my documents. Then when I got home, I decided to wash the coat, because it was second-hand and I wanted to make sure it was clean. I put it in the washing machine, then said, ‘oh God, what’s happening!’ All my documents were inside! Everything was gone.

I got a new passport, but my ticket back I couldn’t replace. There’s no office to get a refund for a ticket to Brazil. So I stayed here. My boss said, ‘God wants you to stay here!’ So I stay here, even though I only planned to be here for three months. I got legal. But I was very sad, because I left my family.

All my life, everything I do, everything I dream, I always ask God to help me. ‘You are a Brazilian God, but I think you are an Irish God as well!’ I was very depressed. My hair fell out. I had no job. I had no friends because I couldn’t speak English.

Then things changed. I was crossing the road on the 20 December 2003. I prayed to God to solve my problem. And the next weekend a friend of mine from Brazil said, ‘Rita, let’s go to the pub.’ I said, ‘I don’t drink.’ She said, ‘ah, just to enjoy.’ Her husband said, ‘Tonight we’ll find a boyfriend for you.’ I said, ‘I don’t speak English!’ He said, ‘You don’t need English to find a boyfriend!’ So I was there for a few hours, and about 2 am I saw a beautiful, huge man sitting with his friends. I said to my friend, ‘That’s my prince.’ Before, I had said, ‘Please God, give me my prince, I want a beautiful man!’

Next thing, he turned around, looked at me. ‘Hello!’ he said. ‘How are you?’ ‘Fine’. I said. ‘Would you like a drink?’ ‘No,’ I said, ‘I’m very cold’. He went (makes babble noises.)
I said, ‘Please, I don’t speak English’. I got very nervous. I was shy. Then he said, ‘Water?’ I said OK. He gave me water, but I couldn’t speak. My friend was translating for me. I said to him, ‘I’m sorry I don’t speak English.’ He said, ‘No problem, my brother speaks Spanish.’ I said, ‘I don’t speak Spanish!’ He asked me for my mobile number. I was afraid, so I said, ‘I have no number. ‘ He said, ‘Well, this is my number, if you want, call me, OK?’

That was Saturday. On Tuesday, I texted him. ‘Hi, this is Rita. This is my telephone number.’ He texted back, ‘Yee haa! Would you like a cup of coffee? Take care.’ I thought, ‘My God!’ In our country, means watch out. Like Mafia. But I accepted his invitation. I met him at Bodega’s. We couldn’t talk, so he said, ‘Please, I don’t understand. Just give me a kiss!’ (Laughs). So we started our relationship.

One year later, he asked me what my legal situation was. I was afraid, I said, ‘Next month, I will find out.’ He got down on his knee and he asked me to marry him. He’s very romantic. I cried! I said, ‘Of course!’ So we got married on the 24th July. It was an incredible wedding. I walked up the hill crying, crying. God gave me my prince.

My sister came over for the wedding, and after that, she went back. I had a beautiful party. He treated me like a princess. At the party, he fixed a computer so all my family in Brazil could see my wedding. All my family was crying. I will never forget that day. Beautiful, beautiful. So far, every day, he is very kind. Now, because I am married, I applied for residence, and the government said, ‘OK, now you must wait for 14 months.’ But they gave me a medical card. They pay for my school. I study English. Because now I can speak more. My English is not good yet. I have difficulty with prepositions. But I’m happy, because the people at the school are very good.

The people in Ireland are so kind. I never suffered from racism in this country. Wherever I go, the people treat you very well. I like this weather, because the sun itches my skin a lot. I also have a problem with my eyes in the sun. I got sick. My husband paid for surgery for my eyes. I had skin over my eyes. I don’t like so much the doctor, the GP, because one year ago, the doctor said, ‘I sent the letter to say you are on the list for surgery.’ So far, I never got the surgery. Then my husband said, ‘I will pay for it.’

Do you ever get homesick?

I am homesick. I miss my family, some friends, the food. The fruit is so big and sweet. Brazil is a country rich in resources, minerals, diamonds, gold, precious minerals. The coffee is wonderful! Oranges. Rice. Beans. It’s a rich country.

Tell me about your husband.


My husband is Finbarr Keane. He’s a teacher. He teaches Maths. Our relationship is wonderful.

I had no time for relationships before, only short relationships. Three months, four months. All the time I had to work, or to take care of my family. I had no time. But when I came here, I fell in love, and everything became good. Now I have Irish friends, because my English is getting better. At my school, I found friends. Also through my husband, I found friends as well.

What did you expect when you came here?

I just wanted to find my prince! I think every woman dreams of finding a good man. When I came, I had this plan. I came on holiday, but with the dream of finding my prince. My sister has got her husband as well. He’s a doctor from Liberia, but he lived in Russia. He studied medicine in Cork. In Russia, he was a doctor.

Have you experienced any cultural conflicts with Finbarr?

Yes, a lot. I think the people drink too much in this culture. In Brazil people drink, of course, everybody around the world drinks. But they would only go to the pub at the weekend. Friday night, Saturday. But people here go to the pub every day. I had this difficulty with my husband, but now I give a holiday to him on Friday! Because now he’s married. But it was difficult. He says, ‘But in Ireland, business is made in pubs!’ I said, ‘No, this is stupid, we’ll be poor forever! Anyone doing business in pubs is poor!’

Now thank God, I don’t have this problem any more.

Have you noticed any other cultural differences?

Yes. In Brazil, when you get married, you invite everybody to the party. Here, you have people for the meal, and people for the afters. In Brazil, if you do that, they think, she’s a snob to me. I won’t go.

The people have different priorities for theatre, travelling, holidays, cinema. In Brazil, it is difficult to go to the theatre because you have no money. It’s for rich people. My husband plays golf. It’s for rich people. Everything that is common in Ireland is difficult for Brazilian people. My husband said, ‘You must go to the cinema every week, it’s good for your English.’ He was very right, because I learned faster.

The people give priority to different things. For example, here, you live in at home for eighteen years, then you leave, you have your life outside, your job, your university. In Brazil, no. You can live at home for forty years. You only leave the house when you get married. If you get married!

The parents, when all the children leave and get married, they start the life again, with the grandchildren! In Ireland, if you are forty, you are old. If you are 40 in Brazil, you can find a 20-year-old boyfriend! I am 40.

(I tell her she looks very young.)

In Brazil, if you feel you have a wrinkle, you can go to the doctor in the morning and ask him to take it off.

Have you done that?

No, never.

Is it expensive?

No. If you have a belly, you go to Brazil. In Brazil, if you have €300, you can go to the doctor in the morning, and have liposuction. Afternoon, you can go back home. How beautiful! I said to my husband, ‘Let’s go to Brazil, I want to lift my breasts.’ He said, ‘Baby, no! God wants you to be like that!’ I said, ‘I don’t like big breasts.’

In Brazil, everything you don’t like, you can change. My sister, her breasts were very big. She wasn’t secure. She went to Brazil, changed her breasts, and now she’s feeling confident. Here €10 000, there, €1 000. Then you feel confident with yourself. I would say, 40% of people do this. You can be poor, but you can save your money. Go to the doctor,

But I like it better here. The men in Cork are more thoughtful. In Brazil, if you get married, when you are 20, when you are 40, your husband can leave you, change you for another woman. All your life, your beauty falls down. That’s why Brazilian women get surgery. Always, they feel pressure. Men as well. Sometimes the women leave the men. There are no old people in Brazil, in general! Many people get plastic surgery.

In Ireland, if the man says, I am going to the pub, I feel secure. He will go to the pub and talk to his friends. In Brazil, no. If he goes to the pub without his wife, it’s to find another girlfriend. The men give more respect here than in my country. I prefer this culture. But drinking in the pub every day is not good for your health, for your pocket, or for security at home.

How was it when you met Finbarr’s family?


It was love at first sight! I met his brother and his sisters before. And my mother-in-law…I can’t say she’s my mother in law, because she’s like my mother! After this interview, I’m meeting her. I meet her once a week in town and we go for a cup of coffee. She’s a lady. She’s like my mother. ‘Mother-in-law’ has bad connotations! She’s very beautiful and kind. (Shows me a photo.) His father as well. I have a new family here.

I am confident myself now, because I have a family. I have my husband now.
Finbarr is 43. He was married twice before, once to an American, the other time to an English woman. He’s divorced. But he said, I got married for business. You are the first woman I married for love. When I met him he said, ‘You are my present from God, because I met you on my birthday’.

Is he also religious?

No! But I always say, ‘God, God, God,’ so he also talks about God! It’s very funny. Every single Sunday. He doesn’t like to go to church, but he says, ‘Baby get up, Jesus wants to talk to you. Say hello from me!’ (Laughs.) He likes that I go to church.

Does he ever go with you?

No. Maybe two times. He has no religion.

What’s your dream?

I want to work in a call centre. Many Brazilian people work there. But I must get better at my English first.

I can’t leave for 14 months. When I get depressed sometimes, my husband takes me on trips. To Limerick, Kilkenny, Killarney, Blarney to lots of places. I know everywhere. I like Cork. My husband laughs at me, because every day I must go Patrick Street. I must know the price of everything. It is expensive here. Your money is two times bigger than my money. The cost of living. If you had €1 000 here, in Brazil you have €3 000. We have our own house now.

I have another sister who wants to come here next year, to learn English. My other sister got her residence. My brothers are all married. They don’t like travelling. My sisters are all single. They all want to find their prince! I already found my prince. I asked him to organise a taxi to take me to the registry office. He said, ‘don’t’ you worry, baby, don’t you worry.’ Then I heard ‘hoot hoot!’ and looked out the window, and there was this big, black, shiny limousine, with his father!

My dress was champagne and lavender. We drove to the Metropole hotel. Champagne, red carpet. We pulled up in front of the hotel. There was a girl who thought I was famous. She asked if she could take my photo! It was a beautiful, beautiful day. It was the most beautiful day of my life.

(Rita showed me a picture of her wedding day, featured on the front page of the Irish Examiner. The headline of the article, which was written by Dan McCarthy, read, ‘Togher boy ties the knot with Brazilian beauty’.)

Do you have any criticisms of Ireland?

I think the medicine should be more advanced. When you go to the hospital, you can find doctors from Pakistan, Egypt. But I don’t trust them because I’ve been there three times and they gave me Paracetamol for haemorrhoids!

But school is very good, because here in Ireland the priority is education. In Brazil, the people used Ireland as a model. They said that Ireland became rich because the government invested in education. Culture, education, you have support here at school.

In Brazil, no. If you want a good, cultural education, you must pay. And many people don’t have the money. In Brazil, it’s difficult for black people to go to university. Maybe 5%. And the population is 70% black. There are Portuguese people, Italian people, they mixed with black people. But racism is more in Brazil than in Ireland. I never felt racism here. I have more white friends than black here. I am happy in this country.


***

Brazil covers nearly half of South America and is the continent's largest nation. It borders every nation on the continent except Chile and Ecuador. Over a third of Brazil is drained by the Amazon and its more than 200 tributaries.

Brazil is the only Latin American nation that derives its language and culture from Portugal. The native inhabitants mostly consisted of the nomadic Tupí-Guaraní Indians. The early explorers brought back a wood that produced a red dye, pau-brasil, from which the land received its name. Portugal began colonization in 1532 and made the area a royal colony in 1549. Independence was declared in 1822.

In 1889, following a military revolt, a republic was proclaimed, Brazil was ruled by military dictatorships until a revolt permitted a gradual return to stability under civilian presidents.

After a military coup in 1964, Brazil had a series of military governments. In 1999, the Asian economic crisis spread to Brazil. The situation worsened dramatically when the government opted to let the currency float, and the economy plummeted. In view of neighbouring Argentina’s economic crisis, which could also adversely affect Brazil, the IMF agreed to lend Brazil a phenomenal $30 billion over fifteen months.

In 2003, Luiz Inácio Lula da Silva, a former trade union leader and factory worker widely known by the name Lula, became Brazil's first working-class president. The president's first major legislative success was to reform the country's debt-ridden pension system, which operated under an annual $20 billion deficit. Civil servants staged massive strikes opposing this and other reforms. Although public debt and inflation remained a problem in 2004, Brazil's economy showed signs of growth and unemployment was down. Lula combined his conservative fiscal policies with ambitious antipoverty programs, raising the country's minimum wage by 25% and introducing an social welfare programme, Bolsa Familia, which has pulled 36 million people (20% of the population) out of deep poverty.

Source: World Almanac.

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